Roboten

God bless this little fella, fair warmed me cockles he did ha ha not at all, especially when I was curtly informed 'he' was a she called PaPeRo. Her master kept whispering enticements into her aural cavity and she would squeal delightfully and stagger around her platform like a dipsomanic dwarf. This machine is a bitter disappointment for those (of us) hoping to put their feet up and allow robots to take over the world. Sure you can phone her up and watch through her eyes while neighbourhood kids steal your stereo. You can get her to talk to your fridge to determine whether you're low on milk, but it's hardly 'Rise of the Machines' is it? I want lasers, piercing the night with their death dealing light. Random blades popping out of secret compartments to hack arteries and dismember fulish humans that bend down and say 'Oooh, how cute.' She also sounds like a Manga school girl, and that's just sick man, sick sick sick. Any fule knows robots speak in single cadent bursts of electronic loathing of the 'Exterminaaaaaaaaaate!' nature. They sure as shiz don't burble 'Konichiwa!' and chuckle. Babies chuckle, robots destroy.

B