Herewith, a picture of my brain on holiday. I haven't had the heart to inform my brain that it isn't still lounging on a beach somewhere, but is in fact rotting on one of the lower tiers of hell. Sadly, even my brain knows something is up, what with all the screams and lamentation emanating from various meeting rooms across the way. Soon the proverbial penny will clang and dear old brain will return to full cognizance, blinking owlishly up at the tungsten lights and flinching at the desolate wails of other brains around it. Crying out with hunger, crying out in pain, at least the dirt will wash off, when it starts to rain. Shame.
The Bartlett Gallery hosts some piscene portraiture at the moment, seen here hanging off the shoulders of artist Tommy's niece. Tortured Artist's gallery is soon to be demolished and replaced with student flats apparently. This is a blow indeed, especially considering the stickerthing crew were contemplating doing an exhibition there in the Summer. We will have to regroup and find a new venue for our borrowed art outpourings. Tom has also done a number of moody landscapes which I think are superb, if you happen to be in th Bethnal Green area, check it out. Niece not included.
There's no justification for this sort of picture really. It's a sunset, and a Cape sunset at that, it reeks of cliche, fair stinks of it. I took it with my phone which is its only saving grace and I've posted it to remind me that there is a sun out there and one day it'll come back. I also needed to post something to introduce the affable meanderings and amiable dementia of tomismyonlyfriend, which you may have noticed has now appeared on the left. There, I've done the introductions, I'll leave it to the Happy Harlequin to do the rest. I'm deeply fatigued, I stop.
Hurrah, stitching rocks. Now if only I'd actually taken something interesting with it. Ah well, Stanford, woohoo!
Happy happy, and indeed, joy joy. So it is that we wake up into the new born year and, in the inimitable words of Jon Bon Jovi 'French kiss the morning.' This line has horrified me for years, not just for the fact that it's been sung by nob rocka JBV, but also for the hideous image it conjures up of John rolling over in bed after a night on the tiles and ramming his JD and marlboro coated tongue into the orifice of my morning.
The Luchador's mask is his alternative face, the second skin he inhabits in the ring and the very embodiment of his wrestling persona. The masks are there to enhance the perception in both opponent and crowd, of a blank emotionless Harbinger of Doom, descending from on high to crush all in their path. That's the kinda look I'm going for here. I'm thinking of sporting this ensemble at my next Michael Flately retrospective, do hope you can make it.
Metal. For some time now it has been but a concept, a way of thinking, a genre encapsulating all that is loud and guitar driven. Trust Tenacious D to summon up a physical manifestation of this abstraction, then kick it in the ball...er...goons. Here we see JB and KG laying it down with 'Metal' at the Hammersmith Apollo last night. Hard rocking was the order of the day- cock push-ups, rising at the crack of noon, the random consumption of magic mushrooms - all these things were required before the D was done with us. Having nuked themselves into Hell via some spilt beer and a faulty electrical point, our heroes do the logical thing and form a band with Colonel Sanders on drums (he killed a lot of chickens), Charlie Chaplin on bass and the anti-christ on lead guitar. They duck and dive between the first album and newer tracks and finally have to dual with Satan himself to return to earth, because Kyle forged JD's signature on the contract which got them to hell in the first place. JD is a one man monsoon of sweat by the end of it, and one can only hope a highly efficient roadie washes that one t-shirt Black has been seen in both on stage and on TV for the last two months.
When you fire a pistol, without wearing earmuffs to prevent your brain from liquidizing from the sonic boom, not only are you utterly deafened for days afterwards, you also experience fiendishly aggravated tinnitus. To obtain the same affect over a slightly more prolonged period of time, have a Flat Festival . Invite Testcard to play at your Flat Festival. Stand in front of massive JBL's in said flat while said Testcard sings at you from point blank range. Cry. 
This is also mine, though more on a share basis you know. The v.colourful one belongs to the Loved one, where it will go, nobody knows, possibly not the bedroom, it radiates like a supernova.
The top image is called 'Where's the remote' - it is mine, oh yes. (just need to pay for it, hmmm)
Soon he will be residing in the front entrance to the Nelson Mandela Children's hospital, just the sort of jaunty doorman you'd want to be greeted by were you an ailing child (i'd hope, they may run screaming) This is Blockhead, one of the sculptures featured in M.o.m.cy's recent exhibition, created by renowned sculptor and significant other Sybraman. The exhibition was fab and I'll be posting more pics from that shortly, I just have to muster up the energy.
'Hide in plain sight' I think the term is. Dr.Evil has obviously fallen on hard times and re-located to Lower Main St in Obs. No doubt a state-of-the-art security system lurks behind this unassuming grey door, but I was unable to test this theory as there was a large wrought iron fence in the way.
There were another two of these on the boot above the tail-lights. Such pride in one's Continent, that one would deface a Mercedes Benz with this nice shiny hood ornament. Seems logical to me, but surely if you were go to all this bother, you'd point it the other way? Guess there's no accounting for logic in downtown Observatory.
Water leaching down from the mountains through the fynbos, develops this curious weak tea colour as soon as it gathers in river form. Chuckie called it the coca-cola river and took to it like the proverbial poisson. This joyful abandon looked to me like it needed a watercolour wash to edge it over into hyper-reality. Just the merest hint y'know. Loved one and I preferred a bit of long distance parenting, sitting at the restaurant overlooking the river with a cold Savanna and the odd encouraging wave. The Milkwood serves an excellent seafood platter and Chuck was moved to announce his new favourite food was moules in wine. Where he gets such lofty tastes from I know not, pass the crayfish cracker there's a good boy, burp.
Yes well, the whole blogging from the phone thing was a lie. Mostly because I changed phones to an N93, (ta Fox, Silkies in the mail, etc) and didn't have time to load blog software on. As you can see by this image, the new camera on the new phone seems to function quite well, even if the subject matter wasn't exactly ecstatic about being immortalised. Still, he did manage to keep still long enough to be captured here, and frolicking in the coca cola river and various other places. (images and explanations to follow) I'm still wading through a thousand work mails, so haven't really the time to wax lyrical about the last three weeks in the glorious Cape. I will endeavour to make up for my tardiness and will shortly take you through a step-by-step guide to drinking and eating your way to an early grave.
As booth babes go, this affable charmer takes the orange sponge. Seems to have missed the memo that said 'all booth babes must be female, blonde and have perfected looking bored while smoking a cigarette.' At least he had the bored bit down pat, the Adidas/ Alpaca hat combo needs a little work though.
Plastic People in Shoreditch has a beast of a sound system, ideally suited to low-end basslines and skankin' beats. Kode 9 lays it down hard while the Spaceape spits out krewshall rhymes over the top and bodies liquify and explode all around. Fabulous to see Mwaff again after so long and Strcpskr and la Sonje. The single malt may have been taking things that little bit too far if my rampant shakes and uneasy stomach are anything to go by. Top-hole evening chaps, next stop Mamom's party, wayhey.
It's corny I know, but I love the negative setting on my mobile phone camera. It's amazing to think I can reverse any old image and give it a sense of otherworldy oddness at the flick of a switch. Who builds such a thing into a phone, who, who? Those crazy Finns, beavering away in their little country, churning out mobile madness by the bucketload, that's who. I just know that despite it's larger megapixie rate and bigger memory and endless add-ons, the N93 just isn't going to please me as much as this phone. Then again, perhaps I can get Nokia to pay me a million pounds to film the shadow my child's inflatable ring floating across a swimming pool. Nice one Gazza, nice one. I'm filming a picture of my ring as we speak for your consideration, if you can find the time to climb out of yours and watch it that is.
