House - Master Plaster Part 2

Ha, how soopa do the kitchen tiles look? They look farging soopa! Never mind they still need to be grouted n' stuff, I care not. This is the first time I've actually seen something going in, as opposed to being ripped out. The boys are tromping along at a furious pace. I'm trying not worry about the fact that my chief builder and leader of the whole Bulgar invasion has gone on a five day piss- up in Morocco with ten of his mates. 'Beer is 30p, water is 30p, who would drink water, hahahaahaha!' Let's just hope he comes back. Master plaster mysteriously dropped a day, but he's back in full effect and will hopefully finish all the rooms by the end of the week. Loved One has been on leave and has worked like a trojan to paint the front room single handed, the woman is a saint etc. We've now shelled out for a roof refurbishment and two velux windows in the loft along with foam insulation, so the music room is a lot closer to completion than expected. The fact that we will be paying it off for the next ten yers is neither here nor there, I larf in the face of ludicrous outlays of money left right and centre. I larf like this haahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahaahahahahahahaha. Ha.

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House - Master Plaster

Right, this is all getting a tad repetitive but there you go. The chimney breast in the en suite has been boarded up and awaits a supporting bracket. There is now a mountain o' shite piled up in the front garden, but for half the price of a weeny skip, you can have a mountain o' shite van come round and drag it all away in one shot; if you don't mind destroying your front garden. Doors have now been bashed through to the en suite and what will be our walk-in wardrobe on the right. The reception has been completely stripped now of wood chip and awaits God's Plasterer (TM). This individual is held in awe by the rest of the Bulgars, 'He is machine' they say, 'No breakfast, just cigarettes and go.' We witness this for ourselves, as, in the space of the first ten minutes of our arrival, he's plastered the chimney breast in the kitchen and both sides of the stud wall in the utility. The reception awaits his machinations, as does the en suite and the main bedroom. Two weeks before we move in, the crew shrug their shoulders nonchalantly and say 'No problem.' We shall see.

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House- destruction reigns

Shreds of wood chip hang like the dessicated skin of a snake from the ceiling of the reception. The shower room, denuded of dodgy pink tiles, awaits extraction. Holes are springing up where walls used to be and doors are becoming walls. Once again I am nervous, but there's no denying the enthusiasm of our hearty Bulgarian crew. The kitchen fitter also visited and measured everything up. He looked a little perturbed by the curious configuration of the basin and dishwasher, but reckoned he could get around it. Never mind there's a crate of Zimbabwean ephemera arriving on Friday. Ye Gods, where am I going to put Uncle Bernie's chest? Deep breaths Billsworth, deep breaths.


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House- more holes

Risking horrid death, our intrepid builders secure the ceiling/floor after the chimney breast has finally been removed. Thanks v.much to Mama and Papa G for their painting and tea making skills, your help was much appreciated. Hopefully there will be more tangible evidence by the end of the week, that progress is being made. At least one room looks shiny new, only five more to go. Now, if anyone has any clever ideas abut staining floor boards, answers on a postcard please.

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